Day 1

Slumber

Sleep, fueled by the night before's alcohol consumption, was as fickle as it was sweet.

I went to bed earlier than expected, a little before midnight.  And woke up multiple times throughout the night.  At least while asleep, though, my thoughts would not turn to her.

Or so I thought.

I remember one dream.  I was in a hospital room, and immediately realized whose - her son's, after he had his appendix removed.  Neither he nor her were there, at least at first.  I started cleaning up the room, putting away toys and medical equipment that was scattered around; then I heard them approach.
He came into the room first, and brightened when he saw me.  She was next - and did not have the same reaction.
She seemed annoyed that I was there - sadly, a look I'd seen from her so many times in the weeks leading up to our breakup.

I was glad to wake from that sleep, but could not rise from my bed.  The weight of our relationship ending - and the realization that this is going to haunt and hurt me for awhile - kept me glued to my bed for hours after waking.

I could feel my heart beating heavy in my chest, a reminder both that life steadily marches forward and that I was nowhere near over everything that happened.

Forcing myself NOT to call or text her, but unable to stop myself from thinking of her, I sleep-walked through the day.